Why 'I Don't Know' Keeps You Stuck and How to Break Free From Indecision

Have you ever found yourself saying, "I know I should move more, but I just end up on the couch and I don't know why"? Or maybe, "I know what I need to eat, but I can't seem to follow through"?

If you've ever wondered why you're not taking action on things you know will make a difference in your health, this message is for you. We're exploring why we get stuck in indecision, how it keeps us in a fog, and what we can do to start taking messy, imperfect action to break free.

The Fog of Indecision

When we're stuck in the place of "I don't know why I'm not taking action," we're spending all our time in confusion, overwhelm, and disempowerment. Everything sounds like we don't have the power to make decisions. We start pointing to external situations like work, family, or other responsibilities as reasons why we can't do what we know we need to do.

But here's the truth: You do have the power to make decisions. You have the ability to plan what you want to do in the future, and more importantly, you have the ability to honor those plans. When you tap into that power, that's when you can really start reaching your potential.

So why don't we do this? Why do we stay stuck?

Making decisions can feel uncomfortable. There are many decisions to be made, and when we avoid making them, we think we're staying in a more comfortable zone. But the reality is we're actually keeping ourselves in limbo, and that limbo is just a postponed decision. We're in a holding pattern, thinking we're playing it safe, but really we're just delaying our progress.

The Lotus Flower Effect

This reminds me of a scene from the Percy Jackson series. Percy and his friends end up in a casino where they start eating lotus flowers. The more they eat, the more they feel like they're in a fog. They start forgetting about their quest, their goals, and their future.

Staying in indecision is exactly like that. We get comfortable, we feel safe, but we're actually just losing sight of our goals. We're not moving forward, we're just existing in this fog, and it's keeping us from achieving what we really want.

Reframing 'I Don't Know'

When I hear someone say, "I don't know why I'm not doing this," I always encourage them to reframe it. Instead of saying "I don't know why," try saying "I'm choosing to..." or "I'm choosing not to..."

Staying in this place is a choice. It's a decision, even if it doesn't feel like one.

I can't tell you how many people I've worked with who, once they start being intentional about their decisions, have regrets about staying in that limbo place for so long. When we stay in indecision, we often give in to indulgent behaviors. We feel safe doing so because we've already decided on inaction, which gives us a pass for the true work of growing.

Five Strategies for Breaking Free

Expand Your Options

When you're faced with a decision, it's easy to feel like you only have a couple of options. But that's rarely the case. If you're feeling confined, force yourself to come up with more possibilities.

I challenge my clients to make a list of 50 options. This might sound overwhelming, but it's a powerful exercise to help you see that you're not as limited as you think. The goal isn't to find 50 perfect solutions, but to break out of the either/or thinking that keeps you stuck.

Like Your Reason

Whatever decision you make, make sure you like your reason for it. Ask yourself if you're playing it safe or making a choice that will set you up for success.

This doesn't mean taking the easiest path. It means taking the path that aligns with your goals and values. When you genuinely like your reason for a decision, you're far more likely to follow through.

Embrace Messy Action

The opposite of indecision is taking what I call messy action. Messy action is all about taking steps, even if they're imperfect. It's about learning as you go and adjusting along the way. It's knowing that things won't be perfect, but understanding that you'll feel so much better taking any action than staying stuck in inaction.

Think of it like a GPS. Your GPS can't give you directions until you start moving forward. It might feel scary to take that first step, but remember, it's just another kind of discomfort. You're trading the discomfort of "I don't know" for the discomfort of taking messy action.

Here's the catch: when you take messy action, you might feel uncomfortable and be tempted to go back to indecision. You might find yourself collecting more information, taking another course, or just thinking and pondering endlessly. But that's just another form of delay.

Remember, any amount of action is a good thing, even messy action. You're either getting the outcomes you want or the lessons you need. This mindset makes taking messy action easier because it shifts your perspective on failure. It's not a big deal if things don't go perfectly. What matters is that you're moving forward.

Set a Deadline

Give yourself a deadline to make a decision. Indecision thrives on endless timelines. When you set a deadline, you're forcing yourself to move out of that fog and take action.

Without a deadline, you can perpetually delay, always finding reasons to postpone. A deadline creates healthy pressure that moves you from thinking to doing.

Align With Your Future Self

Think about where you want to be in 10, 20, or even 30 years. Have a conversation with your future self. What would she tell you to do?

This exercise helps you align your decisions with the person you want to become. Your future self has the benefit of perspective and can guide your current choices toward the life you truly want to create.

Understanding the Truth About Indecision

One thing that's crucial to understand is that indecision is still a decision. It's a decision to stay exactly where you are.

It's like sitting on the side of the road, staring at the path in front of you, but not moving forward. You might not think you're making any decision at all, but by not acting, you're actually choosing to stay stuck. And that's the only way to truly stay stuck: by not acting at all.

In life, you don't control the outcomes. You can't predict how every decision will turn out, but what you can control is the actions you take. Every choice you make is either walking you toward or away from your goals, from the person you want to become.

It's easy to get caught up in wanting a guarantee before you take action, but the truth is there's no certainty. What's certain, though, is that doing nothing guarantees you'll stay exactly where you are.

How Fear Thrives in Inaction

Fear thrives in inaction. When we delay, hesitate, or stay in limbo, the fear and uncertainty grow louder. It's like feeding a fire. If you keep avoiding action, that fear keeps getting bigger.

But as soon as you start taking action, even just a small step, you begin to shrink the fear. Action starves fear, making it smaller and more manageable with every step you take. You'll feel less controlled by your doubts and more empowered to move forward.

The Readiness Trap

Many of us tell ourselves we're not ready. But here's the thing: you're ready when you decide to be ready, not when you feel like it.

Waiting for the feeling of readiness is a trap. You don't need to feel 100% confident or have everything perfectly lined up. You just need to decide that now is the time to move. Action creates its own momentum, and once you take that first step, your readiness will follow.

The Currency of Discomfort

Discomfort is the currency that gets you what you want in life. Making decisions, especially when they're hard or uncomfortable, is what grows us, moves us forward, and creates momentum.

If you've been stuck in indecision, I challenge you to take that first step, even if it's messy. Remember, you don't have to have it all figured out to make progress. Start with one decision, take one action, and let that momentum build.

The only real decision you're making when you stay in indecision is to remain exactly where you are. If you want change, if you want momentum, it's time to take messy action. You might not control every outcome, but you absolutely control your next move, and that's where the power lies.

Ready to stop saying 'I don't know' and start taking action toward your wellness goals? Listen to the full episode of Wellness Mastery with Jen Hoyer for more strategies on breaking free from the fog of indecision.

Listen to Episode 7: Why 'I Don't Know' Keeps You Stuck and How to Break Free