When Will I Get There? Why There's No Finish Line in Your Wellness Journey

"When am I finally going to get there?"

A client recently asked me this question, and her honesty was refreshing because I've been asked this countless times. But here's what I've learned: this question isn't really about reaching a goal weight or checking off health milestones.

It's about relief. Relief from the inner critic, from self-doubt, from the endless tug of war between who we think we want to be and who we think we are now.

But here's one of the most freeing truths you'll ever learn: there's no final destination in this work.

That might sound discouraging, but I promise it's actually liberating once you understand what it really means.

The Illusion of "There"

When we ask "when will I get there," we're usually imagining some magical other side where everything becomes easy and we're finally "done." We picture a place where our habits feel effortless, where we've arrived, where it's finally not hard anymore.

But personal growth doesn't work that way. The work on our internal environment, healing our relationship with ourselves, unwinding limiting beliefs, rewiring old thought patterns, and building emotional resilience is what makes achieving our physical goals possible and sustainable.

If you've ever said "I know what to do, I'm just not doing it," it's usually this internal work that creates the shift you need.

Following the Star, Not Chasing the Finish Line

Brené Brown uses a powerful metaphor: walking toward a star. She says there's no arrival point, but you know you're heading in the right direction when you keep your eye on that star.

This perfectly describes the work we're doing. We're cultivating peace, healing our relationship with food and our bodies, building self-trust, rediscovering our self-worth, creating balance. We're striving toward these qualities, but there's no final destination where we "achieve" them once and for all.

When we let go of the illusion of arrival, we make space for real transformational growth. We start seeing ourselves with more compassion because this becomes a process of unfolding, not crossing a finish line.

Think of it like peeling an onion. The more layers you peel, the more you realize there are additional layers to explore. This isn't frustrating once you embrace it as part of the beauty of being human.

Why Yo-Yo Cycles Happen

Understanding why there's no finish line explains the yo-yo dieting cycle that frustrates so many people. We keep chasing that finish line, thinking "once I hit my goal weight and finish this program, I'm done."

But what happens when we cross that imaginary line? We stop doing what got us there. We don't continue growing and improving. Since humans are wired for growth, not standing still, we begin sliding backward.

There's no such thing as staying the same. We're either evolving or regressing in our mindset, health, habits, and thoughts.

The S-Curve of Learning

I recently discovered a concept that perfectly explains human change: the S-Curve of Learning. At the bottom of the S, things are slow and hard. It feels awkward, like nothing's working. But as you keep going, momentum kicks in and you hit the sweet spot where progress becomes noticeable.

Near the top, you master that level and then you plateau. The key to ongoing growth is jumping to a new S-curve, stretching yourself, and beginning again at the next level.

This doesn't mean starting over. Everything you mastered on the first curve stays with you. It means expanding to the next layer of your development.

This model is grounded in brain science, particularly our dopamine response to learning new things. Our brains love novelty and challenge in the right amounts, even though they resist it initially.

What Real Progress Looks Like

Recently, during one of our Wellness Mastery Society coaching calls, a longtime member shared something profound: "I'm finally doing these things from a place of love. Not because I hate myself or feel broken or think I 'should,' but because I want to take care of myself."

When I asked how long she'd been working at this, she realized it had been about a year. A year of steady, patient, layered effort. A year of learning tools, practicing them, showing up imperfectly, feeling uncomfortable, and continuing anyway.

That's where real lasting growth happens.

For some people, this shift might take six months. Sometimes a year. Maybe longer. We all have different amounts of work to do, different layers to work through. But if we keep walking toward that star and doing the work from love, change is inevitable.

Maybe it takes time to reach that mental shift where it's not as hard as it once was, but the true work is never "done." It's about continuing to jump from S-curve to S-curve, always growing.

Five Mindset Shifts for the Journey

1. Let Go of the Finish Line, Follow the Star

Stop chasing a moment where it's "done." Every day, choose to align with your deeper values. Ask yourself: Am I creating peace? Walking toward strength? Building self-respect? Healing my relationship with myself?

Think of this work like building a relationship with yourself. If I thought that once I married my husband the work was done and I could coast, our marriage wouldn't be very good. The longer we're together, the easier it gets, but we continually work, connect, and build trust.

That's exactly what this internal work is. It's not perfect, but it's in alignment, and that's what progress looks like.

2. Make Self-Mastery a Way of Life

Tools like thought management, emotional resilience building, and mental muscle strengthening aren't one-time fixes. They're daily practices, like brushing your teeth.

The more you practice these tools, the more automatic they become. They start creating internal safety, not just external results.

3. Check the Energy Behind Your Actions

Sometimes we operate from fear, guilt, shame, or anxious urgency. That energy is depleting.

But when you take action from compassion and self-worth, from loving yourself enough to support yourself, that energy is sustainable. It actually grows. Motivation lasts longer when connected to love rather than pressure.

4. Celebrate the Messy Middle

Life is messy. We may wish it were calm and steady, but that's not reality. When we accept that the process should be messy rather than fighting against it, we free ourselves from needing it to look a certain way.

This is where habits are built, where we're refined, where identity shifts, where real transformation happens. It's not Instagram-worthy, but it's real.

5. Learn to Get Good at Discomfort

Discomfort is a sign of expansion, not a red flag. When you feel resistance to something new, it means your brain is rewiring and your identity is shifting.

Let it feel weird. Let it feel new. Let it be hard. Over time, what once felt hard becomes your new baseline. Then you stretch to the next level where there will be new discomfort, and that's the S-curve in action.

Shifting Your Question

Instead of asking "When am I going to get there?" try asking "How can I keep becoming the person I'm meant to be?"

Every day we practice. Every day we walk toward that star. You'll never reach a final destination, but if you keep your eye on the star and keep taking steps, every bit counts.

Sometimes you'll pause and sit on the path. Sometimes you'll run. Sometimes you'll slowly meander. Your journey will be different from everyone else's, and that's exactly how it should be.

Your Becoming

Even if you don't believe in yourself right now, I believe in you. There's beauty on this journey of becoming your highest and best self. That work matters, even when it's invisible to others.

You're not trying to reach somewhere. You're becoming someone. And that's the work of a lifetime.

Keep walking toward your star. The path itself is the destination.

Ready to embrace the journey instead of chasing the destination? Listen to the full episode of Wellness Mastery with Jen Hoyer for more insights on why personal growth is a lifelong adventure, not a problem to solve.

Listen to Episode 26: When Will I Get There?