Breaking the Start-Stop Cycle: The True Way to Consistency

Picture this: You've got a big event coming up. Maybe it's a wedding, and you're imagining walking in with confidence, looking amazing, hearing compliments about how incredible you look in your new dress. The thought of those outcomes motivates you to dive into a diet or hit the gym harder than ever before. You're all in because there's a deadline.

And maybe it works. Maybe you reach your goal, or come close enough that it feels pretty good. But what happens after the event? Does the weight stay off? How long does that feeling stick around?

This is where the real challenge begins, and it's exactly what keeps so many of us trapped in a frustrating cycle.

The Problem with Event-Driven Motivation

We get those bursts of motivation to lose weight whether it's New Year's, beach vacation, wedding, or reunion. There's always that spark of "I need to lose X pounds by such-and-such date." Many of us get a high from that motivation. It feels good to imagine reaching that goal and the way we'll feel in that bikini or that dress where people think "she looks amazing!"

But focusing on short-term solutions like extreme diets or over-the-top gym routines keeps us stuck in a cycle. We get temporary results but never address the root causes of our weight and health struggles.

I've been there. I fell prey to the conditioning that told me it's totally normal to lose weight for an event, period, or season, then go back to "normal life." The issue is that while it felt good temporarily, this thinking never gave me what I didn't even realize I was craving: a healthy, sustainable, joyful relationship with my body, food, and life.

It was a hit of what that might feel like, but it never lasted. When I went back to my "normal life," I fell right back into the same habits that created the unwanted weight gain.

My Wake-Up Call

I still remember buying into one of those extreme diets. It involved eating 500 calories a day and taking drops that supposedly boosted human growth hormone. I thought, "Sure, it'll be hard, but I can do anything for a month, right?"

But here's what I didn't realize: that diet wasn't teaching me anything about how to live healthily. It wasn't addressing my unhealthy relationship with food or deeper struggles. It was just a Band-Aid on a bigger problem.

I wasn't alone in this thinking. Recently at a wedding, a woman asked what I do. When I told her I'm a health coach, she said, "Oh, I lost a bunch of weight on [popular diet], but I've gained it back. I'll just go back on it when I need to lose it again."

That hit me because I saw myself in her. I know what it feels like to rely on cycles of loss and regain. But I also know how freeing it is to break out of that trap and build something real and lasting.

The Game-Changing Question

The shift happened when I started asking myself one key question: "What do I want to do for the rest of my life?" Not just for the next month or until the next event, but forever.

That question led to many others: How do I want to eat for the rest of my life? How do I want to feel in my body? What kind of relationship do I want with food?

When we start answering these questions, we're building a foundation for lasting health, not just a fleeting moment of success. This shift is what you need to get out of the cycle of event-driven weight loss and step into the freeing life of not worrying about your weight ever again.

3 Ways to Shift Your Focus

1. Build an Eating Style You Can Maintain Forever

People frequently ask me what to eat and how much, with questions about different diets ranging from keto and Mediterranean to low-carb, intermittent fasting, and everything in between. My answer is always the same: it depends on what you can maintain for the rest of your life.

Some eating plans are designed for specific health issues and serve a purpose. But if your goal is weight loss or overall health, ask yourself: "How do I want to eat forever?"

If intermittent fasting makes you feel amazing and you're ready to commit long-term, that's great! The key is finding what works for you, something that supports your health, gives you energy, aligns with your goals, and feels sustainable.

Here's how to approach it:

Experiment and Listen: Try different ways of eating and observe how you feel. Do you have steady energy? Does it feel nourishing rather than restrictive?

Focus on Longevity: Ask yourself, "Does this feel like a diet, or does it feel like I'm eating for my best health?" Create an eating style that feels natural and enjoyable for the long haul.

Think Beyond Weight Loss: The only difference between eating for weight loss and eating for maintenance should be a slight calorie adjustment.

Ultimately, ask: "What kind of health do I want in my later years, and how can I support that now?" Build a way of eating that fuels your body and feels sustainable for decades, not weeks.

2. Focus on Investing in Your Body

Exercise should never be about burning calories or fitting into smaller sizes. We've all heard "You can't out-exercise your fork," and it's true. Too often, we fixate on calories burned instead of what exercise really offers: building a relationship with your body.

Think of exercise as connecting with your body, honoring its needs, and giving back to it. It's not punishment; it's celebration. Shift your mindset from calories toward the benefits exercise offers for mental and physical health.

Exercise is a deposit in your "401K of health." Every movement, whether lifting weights, walking, or yoga, is an investment in future well-being. The rewards? A stronger, healthier body that carries you through life with confidence and capability.

Exercise is about embracing discomfort, challenging yourself, and discovering what your body is capable of. The mental, emotional, and physical returns are unparalleled. Like a high-yielding retirement account, these efforts pay dividends in later years with greater mobility, strength, and quality of life.

When I stopped fighting against my body and instead focused on cooperating with it, everything changed. I started asking:

• Do I want to lift groceries with ease?

• Open jars without help?

• Avoid mobility aids as I age?

The answer was always yes. That's when I prioritized movements that build muscle, strengthen bones, and set me up for long-term health.

To make this shift: Find exercises you genuinely enjoy. When you change focus from "calories out" to building a strong relationship with your body, exercise becomes something you anticipate. Ask: What movements can I commit to for life?

3. Address the Hidden Factors

Think about what will keep you going through life's inevitable ups and downs. A healthy relationship with yourself, emotional resilience, and a mindset that fosters consistency are crucial for sustaining long-term health.

Life will throw curveballs. Crises, losses, and stress are unavoidable. The question is: how will your health remain constant through it all?

I like to think of eating and exercise as the caboose of a train. The engine driving everything forward is your mental and emotional strength. Without that engine, the caboose isn't going anywhere.

I've had countless people tell me they were on a great health trajectory, but then life happened. An ailing parent, serious diagnosis, job loss. Something significant derailed their progress and they gained it all back.

The truth is these events happen to most of us. They're part of life. The goal is building emotional and mental muscles that help you handle challenges without sacrificing your health.

Don't ignore your engine. If you focus only on short-term goals like losing weight for a wedding, you'll find yourself at the mercy of circumstances. You become merely a passenger, reacting to whatever happens. But when you strengthen your mental and emotional foundation, you become the conductor determining the direction and speed.

Take time to cultivate resilience, emotional fortitude, and the best possible relationship with yourself. These hidden factors keep your health habits alive and thriving, no matter what life brings.

The Real Solution

Short-term goals might feel satisfying momentarily, but they're not the answer to lasting health and happiness. Real change comes when you shift focus to long-term thinking. Stop asking "How can I lose weight for that beach vacation?" and start asking "How can I create a life I love living that supports my healthiest self?"

Health is never a destination. Weight loss might seem like one, but if you're living a life that doesn't support your healthiest weight, you'll continue battling your weight.

I know too many women consumed with thoughts about their weight and food. If that's you, it's time to shift to longer-term focus. When thinking about food and exercise, consider how you want to be eating for the next 10 years, not just the next 10 weeks.

This shift from event-driven motivation to lifestyle-based wellness is what breaks the start-stop cycle forever. You stop being a passenger in your own health journey and become the person who naturally maintains the habits that create lasting results.

Ready to break free from the start-stop cycle and build lasting health habits? Listen to the full episode of Wellness Mastery with Jen Hoyer for more insights on creating consistency through long-term thinking.

Listen to Episode 16: Breaking the Start-Stop Cycle