A 7-Step Journey to Goal Success Inspired by Kids: Why Growing Up Slowly Is the Key to Lasting Change

It's January, the season of New Year's resolutions, fresh starts, and lofty ambitions. What if the best way to tackle your goals requires approaching them like a kid?

This shift might change everything for you.

The new year feels magical, doesn't it? There's energy and optimism, that high we get from setting new resolutions. But Kelly McGonigal reveals something fascinating in The Willpower Instinct: the decision to change is actually the ultimate form of instant gratification.

Just making goals and deciding to change makes us feel good immediately, even though nothing has been accomplished yet. This emotional payoff often overshadows the real, consistent effort required for meaningful change.

As we head into February and face our first setbacks, failing to meet high expectations triggers guilt, self-doubt, and hopelessness. That's when gym memberships go unused, meal planning stops, and we return to old routines.

The problem: We use the promise of change to fix our emotions rather than addressing the real work of transformation.

Why the Kid Approach Works

This idea hit me while reflecting on my own health journey. Losing weight, breaking unhealthy patterns, and building lasting habits took over 18 months. It wasn't quick or easy, but the slowness was the solution.

I learned to treat myself as a beginner, like a kid figuring things out. There were stumbles, but every stumble taught me something.

When coaching clients, the common thread is expecting ourselves to master new habits overnight. We set impossibly high bars and feel like failures when we can't meet them.

But when we shift focus from "getting it right" to "figuring it out," the journey becomes both doable and enjoyable.

Imagine giving yourself the same patience and grace you'd give a child learning to walk, read, or solve math problems.

The 7 Developmental Stages of Goal Success

Stage 1: Explore Like a Baby

Babies don't care if they're bad at something. They're just curious. They explore by trying, failing, and trying again.

In the early stages of your goal, give yourself permission to explore. Want to eat healthier? Experiment with recipes. Trying to work out? Sample different exercises. The point is discovery, not mastery.

What if in January and February, you focused purely on exploration without expecting outcomes?

Stage 2: Be Like a Toddler - Focus on Fundamentals

Toddlers learn foundational skills like walking and tying shoes through repetition. Build foundational habits for your goals. If you're working on weight loss, start with small, repeatable actions like drinking more water or eating one vegetable per meal.

Nail the basics before moving forward. After exploration, what if you got really good at just one thing at a time? Maybe adding vegetables to every meal? It sounds small, but what if big progress comes from a series of tiny wins and alterations to daily life?

Allow yourself to master simple things first.

Stage 3: Be Like an Elementary Kid - Build on Basics

Once kids learn to read, they start reading to learn. They apply knowledge to tackle bigger challenges. Build on your foundational habits. If you've been consistent with water intake, add a daily walk or meal prepping.

Remember when your child learned to read "cat," "hat," or "car"? They were thrilled with progress, and so were you! What if you focused on that kind of incremental advancement?

Each small step forward becomes celebration instead of critique. This transforms how you see your journey, where every stumble becomes learning and every win fuels growth.

Stage 4: Master the Middle School Years - Embrace Growth and Change

Middle school involves navigating challenges, including emotional and physical changes. Similarly, as you progress toward goals, expect discomfort and change.

This is where you might uncover limiting beliefs or encounter setbacks. Many people hate this awkward stage, but embrace it as part of growth. Reflect, recalibrate, and keep moving.

Use this phase to become your own best friend. Many are tempted toward harsh self-criticism, but operate from curiosity and self-compassion instead, even in the most uncomfortable places.

Stage 5: Be Like a High Schooler - Define Your Unique Path

High school is where individuality shines. Students explore interests and begin shaping futures. Make your goals uniquely yours. What works for others might not work for you, and that's perfectly fine.

Focus on what aligns with your values and aspirations, but you need to know what those values are. Use this stage to lean into strengths and envision your future self.

Stop relying on others to dictate your approach. What do you value? What does balance look like for you? What makes you want to stay healthy and keep growing?

Stage 6: Conquer Like a College Student - Deepen Your Knowledge

College involves deeper exploration and specialized learning. When applying this to goals, commit to mastery and delve into details. Maybe you've built solid foundational habits. Now expand and learn the science behind nutrition or refine exercise routines for your body's needs.

Approach this phase with curiosity and hunger for growth. This gets exciting as you've seen significant progress and can look back proudly, knowing how far you've come.

It's time to raise the bar and continue advancing.

Stage 7: Emerge as a Professional - Pursue Excellence with Purpose

As professionals, we take ownership of our craft and continually aim to excel. Focus on long-term sustainability and refinement. This might mean mentoring others, creating what I call "generational health."

Maybe you optimize systems or set fresh challenges. It's not just maintaining progress but evolving and finding deeper meaning in the journey.

Finding Your Stage

As you consider these steps, you might identify where you are and where to start this year. Remember, we all progress at different rates. Some feel held back a grade while others seem in accelerated programs.

It's not about speed. It's about whether you keep going. The point is learning, experimenting, and becoming your highest, best self. Discovery counts most.

Real transformation comes from small, steady actions, not fleeting resolution rushes.

True change addresses emotions and thought patterns shaping our choices. When we focus on how we want to feel rather than just look better or achieve more, emotional resilience and nurturing our internal environment become as critical as hitting the gym or eating vegetables.

Your New Approach

This year, approach goals with the curiosity of a kid. Give yourself grace, embrace the process, and trust that every step leads toward who you're meant to become.

The journey from baby to professional doesn't happen overnight in human development, and it doesn't happen overnight in goal achievement either. Each stage has its purpose, its lessons, and its growth opportunities.

When we rush through or skip stages, we miss the foundation-building that creates lasting change. When we honor the process and give ourselves permission to learn at a natural pace, transformation becomes not just possible but inevitable.

Ready to approach your goals with childlike curiosity and patience? Listen to the full episode of Wellness Mastery with Jen Hoyer for more insights on creating joyful, sustainable progress through developmental goal-setting.

Listen to Episode 15: A 7-Step Journey to Goal Success Inspired by Kids